Moving Beyond "I'll Try"

The Language of Commitment

"Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality." ~ Abraham Lincoln

What You'll Learn

How the phrase "I'll try" undermines leadership effectiveness, the neuroscience behind commitment language, and practical steps to eliminate tentative language and build accountability in your organization.

Have you ever noticed how often we use the phrase "I'll try"? It sounds reasonable, even humble. But what if this seemingly innocent language is actually undermining your leadership effectiveness and your team's results?

The word "try" has become one of the most dangerous words in organizational vocabulary. It creates an escape hatch before you've even begun, signaling to your brain—and everyone around you—that failure is already an acceptable option.

The Hidden Cost of "Trying"

When leaders say "I'll try to get that report done," "I'll try to improve our communication," or "I'll try to be more decisive," they're unconsciously communicating something far different than they intend. They're essentially saying: "I'll make an effort, but don't count on me to actually deliver."

This language doesn't just affect others—it rewrites your own internal operating system. Your brain, designed to conserve energy, hears "try" and automatically reduces the neural pathways dedicated to achievement. You've given yourself permission to fall short before you've even started.

Consider the difference between these statements:

• "I'll try to lose weight" vs. "I will lose 10 pounds by March 1st"

• "I'll try to improve team meetings" vs. "I will implement a new meeting structure starting Monday"

• "I'll try to give better feedback" vs. "I will have development conversations with each team member this month"

The second statements create what neuroscientists call "implementation intention"—your brain begins immediately mapping pathways to success.

Why Leaders Default to "Try"

We use tentative language because it feels safer. Our unconscious mind wants to protect us from the vulnerability of public commitment. When we say "I'll try," we're managing expectations and protecting our ego from potential disappointment.

But here's what's actually happening: we're trading short-term emotional comfort for long-term effectiveness. We're choosing our comfort zone over our higher purpose.

The Neuroscience of Commitment Language

Research shows that the language we use literally rewires our brains. When you say "I will," your prefrontal cortex—the executive center of your brain—engages differently than when you say "I'll try." Commitment language activates what researchers call the "goal-directed network," creating stronger neural pathways toward achievement (read more on this).

Think about it: No bank accepts a loan application that says "I'll try to repay this." No marriage works when vows include "I'll try to be faithful." No successful business operates on "We'll try to deliver value to customers."

So why do we accept this language in our leadership?

The Four Levels of Language Commitment

Level 1: "I'll try" - Creates an escape route and reduces accountability

Level 2: "I hope to" - Expresses desire but lacks concrete commitment

Level 3: "I plan to" - Shows intention with some structure

Level 4: "I will" - Creates clear accountability and activates achievement networks

To expand your capcity in leading others effectively, go to work on more consistently operating at Level 4. See that commitment isn't about guaranteeing perfect outcomes—it's about taking full ownership of their efforts and being accountable for results.

Making the Shift: From Try to Commitment

Start with yourself. For one week, notice every time you use "try" language. Simply becoming conscious of this pattern begins to change it.

Replace "I'll try" with specific commitments. Instead of "I'll try to be more present in meetings," say "I will put my phone in my desk drawer during all meetings this week."

Make commitments time-bound and measurable. Vague commitments like "I'll try to communicate better" become powerful when transformed into "I will send a weekly team update every Friday by 5 PM."

Create public accountability. Share your commitments with others. When you tell your team "I will have individual development conversations with each of you by month-end," you've created external accountability that reinforces your internal commitment.

Embrace the discomfort. Making real commitments feels vulnerable because it matters. That discomfort is a signal that you're growing beyond your comfort zone.

The Ripple Effect of Commitment Language

When you stop saying "I'll try" and start making clear commitments, something remarkable happens: your team begins to mirror your language. The culture of accountability strengthens organically. People begin to trust that when you say something will happen, it will.

More importantly, you begin to trust yourself differently. Each kept commitment demonstrates your integrity, that you do what you say—the foundation of all leadership credibility.

Your Commitment Challenge

For the next 30 days, eliminate "I'll try" from your vocabulary. When someone asks you to do something, respond with one of these options:

• "Yes, I will [specific action] by [specific time]"

• "No, I can't commit to that right now"

• "Let me think about this and get back to you by [specific time] with a clear answer"

This isn't about becoming rigid or unwilling to adapt. It's about bringing consciousness and intentionality to your commitments. When circumstances change, you can renegotiate your commitments—but you'll do so from a place of integrity rather than built-in escape routes.

Moving Forward

The language of commitment transforms more than just your words—it transforms your identity as a leader. When you consistently do what you say you'll do, people begin to see you as someone who can be counted on. More importantly, you begin to see yourself that way.

Remember: commitment isn't about perfection. It's about replacing the unconscious pattern of giving yourself an out with the conscious choice to take ownership. It's about moving from the language of powerlessness to the language of authority.

As the saying goes, there is no try—there is only do or do not. Which leader will you choose to be?

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Ready to Lead with Greater Commitment?

Words matter—and so does the community that helps you grow beyond tentative language into confident leadership.

The Interchange - For CEOs & SuperintendentsConnect with leaders who've moved beyond "trying" to creating real accountability in their organizations. [Learn More →]

The Exchange - For Emerging & Senior LeadersJoin growth-minded leaders practicing the language of commitment together. [Learn More →]

Because the most committed leaders don't lead alone.